the patrick incident pt.III

i needed to get home.

i worked at the liquor store in less than an hour.

things were winding down in the bathrooms, so i approached Patrick about a lift.

"yeah no prob. you sure you don't wnt to come smoke a volcano with me though?"

he explained it as an elaborate beer bong that you get drunk and high from at the same time. i politely declined. so out in the parking lot he gets a call, so i just follow him quietly to the car. but it wasn't his car. he picked my up in a fancy Audi, but here we were standing next to a crappy Dodge Neon. he turns to me, still on the phone, and says:

"i need you to drive."

"uh, where are going"

"just the train station. i need to pick up the car."

but, ah, um, okay, said my brain. so i squeeze my lanky ass into the driver's seat and drive Patrick to the train station so he can drive me home in the car at the train station which i presumed to be the Audi. so i pull up next to the Volkwagon Rabbit he's pointing at and he gets out of the car, i turn off the Neon and get out when he turned to me.

"no, no, no. i need you to drive that car and follow me in this car."

but, ah, um, WHAT, said my brain.

so we'd been driving the cars for five minutes when i lose him. he goes through a yellow and i hit the red. fuck. i call the number he gave me: it's his office, not his mobile. FUCK.

so there i was: driving his not-his car i can barely fit in to somewhere i don't know where with ANYTHING in the trunk and not my name on the registration, and Patrick was gone. FUCK.

over the crest of the hill, there he was, pulled over so i could continue our journey. 25 to 30 minutes later, we pull up in front of a house (which he explained to be his girlfriend's) and we get out of our cars. we head on in and he asks if i mind waiting while he takes a shower. so i waited. i sat in Patrick's girlfriend's living room while Patrick was in the shower. he then drove me home (not without asking again if i wanted to smoke that volcano) and i went to work AMAZED that i was not dead or in jail. thank god that was over i thought.

about a month later, i get an email in my inbox.